I live in a branch in Salt Lake City where I teach gospel doctrine and sing in the choir. I’m the oldest of six children. Growing up, I took sewing, ballet, piano, and vocal lessons. I got married when I was 18 and graduated from BYU. (What can I say? I Mormon hard.) This upbringing doesn’t sound like a roadmap to feminism, but I found my way there while studying Arabic in Amman, Jordan: I simply woke up one morning and decided to be a feminist. (Surprise, husband!)
My arrival at a belief in female ordination was not so abrupt. I have not been a member of Ordain Women since its inception, and I did not participate in its first organized action. I was once blessed that I’d never be inclined to criticize the Lord’s chosen leaders, and I wanted to stay as far from that line as possible.
All my life, I’ve been taught “by their fruits ye shall know them” (Matt. 7:20). I saw that members of Ordain Women were faithful and yearned to build a better Zion. They treated Church leaders with respect, but were opinionated, direct, and firm in their convictions. They were the kind of women I’d want my future daughter looking up to.
I began to study things out in my mind. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting an answer. My faith in the Lord is constant, but the past two years have tried my faith in revelation. I am no stranger to seeking answers that never seem to come.
I have painfully felt the cry of the psalmist: “Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble. Mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly. . . I am like a broken vessel” (Psalms 31).
In reference to another sister whose faith was tested, Elder Spencer J. Condie said: “It may at times seem to us as though a loving Heavenly Father has misplaced our precious promises or He has put them on hold or filed them under the wrong name. Such were the feelings of Rachel. But with the passage of time, we encounter four of the most beautiful words in holy writ: ‘And God remembered Rachel’ (Genesis 30:22).”
Lacking knowledge on female ordination, I asked of God (James 1:5). He did not upbraid me. He remembered me, and He answered me.
The 13th Article of Faith proclaims “if there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” I seek ordination, and I seek it without shame. Female ordination is not a radical idea. Ordain Women’s action is not a protest, but a plea. Standing before Church leaders in search of answers is not a criticism, but an act of faith that the heavens are open.
I choose to show devotion to the Lord by holding fast to the testimony He has blessed me with. I believe women should be ordained.