Hi, I’m Sarah.
I was born into the covenant to a family with a long history in the church. My grandpa used to say he joined the church in 1830. I married in the temple 10 years ago. Since then I served in the US Army, including a tour to Iraq, and am now in school full time studying vocal performance and business.
Being raised in the church, I was pretty much a typical Mormon girl. I wanted to marry a return missionary in the temple (and I did). I have never had alcohol or even coffee or tea, and I can count on one hand the number of times I have sworn. I have served in Young Women and Primary presidencies, as ward choir director, and other callings. I was also taught from a young age the importance of becoming a mother. I never wanted to do anything else with my life other than have babies and stay at home with them. In fact I was taught that was the only righteous desire I could have. So when infertility struck, my world was rocked. I had to completely reconsider what my Heavenly Father wanted me to do with my life. And why had I been taught my life should be one way, if Heavenly Father so obviously wanted me to do something else? What was my place in the church? How was my life of any value if I couldn’t be a mother? Why couldn’t I have been taught to find my own path instead of blindly follow a piece of paper?
I realize how much of my identity was tied up into this idea of motherhood, and how much it hurt me. I was never encouraged to be a leader. I was taught to develop “nurturing” skills (like sewing and reading stories to kids) instead of leadership skills. The difference between how the young men are taught to be Priesthood leaders and young women are taught to be future mothers is disturbing. Even today, in Relief Society we have sewing classes instead of real actual leadership opportunities. Female leaders in women’s organizations must always submit to their male priesthood leaders. I have realized from my business studies how much I enjoy leadership and that kind of responsibility that I, as a woman, was never encouraged to develop.
My life has value. Right now. Not because of who I can be in the future. Not because of any ability to reproduce. Not because I wanted to make my life a cookie cutter example of obedience. I am a daughter of Heavenly Parents who gave me unique talents and expect me to use them.
I don’t hate men. I love my husband and my daddy, and I respect the way they righteously hold the priesthood. I would like that opportunity too.
I believe that women should be ordained.