My name is Leslee. I am the descendant of pioneer converts to Mormonism who gathered with the early saints in Kirtland and Nauvoo and helped to settle the western frontier. I was raised on stories of their courage and sacrifice, of the fire of their convictions and of the glorious restoration of truth, of the gospel of Christ, and of God’s continuing discourse with His beloved children. My whole life I have struggled with doubts and uncertainty, feeling that my faith could never keep up with my doubting, questioning mind. Finally, in the wake of a beautiful, peaceful, loving moment of conversion, I felt that I could turn myself entirely over to God, trusting in his lovingkindness to save me. I went to the temple to covenant with God. I served a mission. Eventually I married in the temple and began my own family.
The doubts never left me, but for a while I had a deep confidence in God’s hand over this work. I trusted that he really does speak with us. I had felt his presence and love in my own sacred, quiet, questions. I believed that he spoke with the leaders of the church as well.
I’ve been struggling for a while to put into words my feelings about women’s place in the church. I’ve weighed my words against the possibility of offending others or the risk of facing discipline myself. But recent events have shown me that the Church–my home, my family, my world–is willing to draw a line in the sand, shutting out those of us who yearn for the promises of continuing revelation. I am honest. I have been faithful. I have been obedient to the Church and to my leaders. But I have also felt the burning of my own conscience and the truth that is within me will not be silenced. I believe women should be ordained.