Reflections on a Flawed Past
You can see more ordain Women YouTube videos HERE.
Honoring our past,
Envisioning our future.
Bryndis Roberts, the author of this post, is the Chair of the Ordain Women’s Intersectionality Committee.
Sunday Spotlight – Brittany
Today’s spotlight features Brittany! She gives a beautiful summary of how men and women working together, side by side in the Church can and would be a beautiful thing.
LDS theology is incredibly unique and rich. I was taught that women have the potential to become Gods with their husbands in the eternities. That’s not an insignificant piece of doctrine. I think women are starting to realize that they not only have eternal potential, but potential to serve in a greater capacity now. I see so many women getting higher education, asking hard questions, and analyzing theology and scripture. It gives me hope. Lately, I’ve been looking closer into the life of Jesus, and he did extremely radical, taboo and even blasphemous things for his time. Those things were almost without fail, done to include those around him that didn’t feel like their voice was being heard. The church has made some amazing promises to women, and it excites me to see more and more realize the reality of continuing revelation and the idea that women can make a difference here and now.
The YW program was especially beneficial to me. I was given several leadership opportunities in the program and that helped me realize what some of my strengths were, when far too often teenage girls don’t have any confidence placed in them which can send them down a road of self-doubt. I felt extremely empowered as a woman in my youth. My upbringing in the church also gave me a foundation of faith, prayer, meditation, study and it taught me to ask hard questions that might not have immediate answers.
I’ve always been troubled by the lack of female voices in the church. I think it would do everyone good to hear from more women during conference, have women write curriculum and manuals, and to study the words of women like we study the words of men. I also think women could be a great asset in helping out with budgets and the logistical side of the church. Activity Days and Young Women programs should truly be equal to Scouts. I think teaching our young girls leadership and practical skills is crucial if we want to create a generation of women who feel empowered, useful, and loved.
When I was in high school, I basically demanded to have the one female seminary teacher twice in a row because I hear the voice of God best through female voices. I didn’t even know Mormon feminism was a thing, but I was one. I’ve looked up the few female leaders in the church who get any recognition for their brilliance, but I’ve always wanted more.
My husband and I entered a faith crisis in 2011, and we progressed through that at our own, individual rate. The Sunday after Kate Kelly was excommunicated I sat in church for 3 hours, on the verge of literally screaming out in pain. I felt like my church was moving in a direction that I wasn’t comfortable with and leaving me behind. It was heartbreaking. I soon decided to join my husband in his interest in looking at Community of Christ (RLDS) as a possible spiritual home. It didn’t take long before I realized that my heart was safe, free, and validated there. My questions, concerns, hopes and dreams were welcomed there. I started to blossom there. It was especially good because we were still able to hold on to our heritage within the Joseph Smith’s restoration framework, we just adjusted that framework a little. We officially joined in January and I feel like I’ve found my home. I still do get sad when I think about stepping out of the LDS church because that was my church. It was everything to me for 26 years. I think of my ancestors who gave up everything to follow their convictions and oddly enough, their drive and testimonies are what has helped me step into another denomination under the umbrella of the restoration. I’ve found where my heart sings. I think they would be proud of that.
I put up a profile when I finally found the courage. It was hard because I saw what my friends and family were saying about it, and I didn’t want to let anyone down. I didn’t necessarily want ordination for myself, but I truly and deeply believe female ordination is what God wants. Seeing how it works in Community of Christ was a game changer for me. I’ve felt and seen their priesthood work, and it’s beautiful. Women and men are working side by side, blessing and passing the sacrament together, making joint decisions for the congregation. True equality. It was after seeing female ordination in action a few times that I decided to write my profile. I was terrified, but it felt so good. It was incredibly healing for me to own the fact that I think women should be ordained. It might sound silly, but it was one of the scariest moments in my life when I admitted it “out loud” by submitting my profile.
Since submitting a profile, I’ve met amazing people and have gained a lot of confidence. I’ve become open to learning from other ordained women in different denominations, and it inspires me. I’ve read about and have seen so many inspiring women who would have never been given the chance to touch so many lives in the capacity they do, without ordination. It’s also been amazing to see the compilation that Ordain Women has put out with early church leader’s perspectives on women performing priesthood duties. I had no idea women were giving healing blessings, anointing, or that they were “ordained”. It further deepens my convictions that this is what God wants.
For the most part, the reaction of my family and friends has been surprisingly positive. I have only heard one or two negative comments about it. I have faith that people are genuinely kind, good people and that there is a place for people to disagree in the church. I know it hurt a lot of people, and some were left scrambling, not knowing what to do with me. Overall, my relationships even after stepping away from the church have mostly remained intact.
I have had several people tell me that my profile softened their hearts on the topic quite a bit. I think there was an element of shock to it because I had been silent on the topic when everyone around me was talking about it. Suddenly, I was *that* person, but really, I was still the same Brittany that everybody knew. I’ve been able to have conversations about it with a few people, and everyone has been really respectful to me about it. I do think that ‘testimony’ is a good word to describe my feelings about it. I truly, truly believe that the LDS church would be healthier, stronger and more spiritual if women were ordained.
Ordained and set apart to administer these holy Ordinances.
Honoring our past,
Envisioning our future.
We Know What We’re Looking For
It’s no secret that for two years now, Ordain Women has been seeking priesthood ordination for women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There are a couple arguments that we constantly hear to “prove” why seeking the priesthood isn’t just wrong, but completely unnecessary. Let’s take a closer look.
The Ruby Slippers Fallacy
Glinda: You don’t need to be helped any longer. You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.
Dorothy: I have?
Scarecrow: Then why didn’t you tell her before?
Glinda: She wouldn’t have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.
In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy goes through an amazing journey in order to return home only to discover at the end that she had the power within her all along, if only she had known! Some have argued similar things to us – saying we’ve already got priesthood power, we just don’t understand the gospel! Or we’re told that priesthood power “makes flowers grow, rain to fall, gravity to work” – it’s all around us so why do we need to look for it?
The second idea is simply erroneous – while we have been taught that it is through priesthood that God created the world, this is not a key or power that is available to mortals. Moreover, the scriptures have countless examples that make it quite clear that priesthood is something that needs to be conferred upon you, not something that everyone gets by simply existing within God’s creation.
The first idea does have some truth to it – women are promised in the endowment that we will be priestesses. However, the endowment is not what members of Ordain Women are seeking. We are looking for the power and authority to participate in priesthood ordinances and leadership structure outside of the temple, for both endowed and non-endowed members, the same ordinances that men can participate in whether or not they are endowed. Saying we have the power within us does not mean that we can baptize our children or help pass the sacrament. It is not a case of misunderstanding; it is a clear case of not having the same access and permission as men do.
The Motherhood Fallacy
The second and more common argument is that women have priesthood power because they gestate babies, or that women do not need the priesthood because they gestate babies. It’s true that many females can bear children while men cannot. The comparison, however, falls apart when you examine it more closely.
Using the first variation of this argument, one could argue that if women hold the priesthood by gestating babies, then animals do as well. This picture shows a sheep named Big Texas who recently had a lamb. Does Big Texas hold the priesthood?
Another thing to consider is the fact that many women all over the world, regardless of their nationality, belief system, or righteousness, have the potential to bear children. Do pregnant women in the distant corners of the world who have never heard of Jesus Christ have claim to His priesthood? Belle Gunness bore at least 4 children, and was a serial killer who murdered 25-30 people, including some of the children she gave birth to. Did she hold the priesthood?
Finally, there are the myriad problems with fertility and pregnancy. The comparison simply falls apart. In order to righteously become pregnant, an adult woman must be married and she and her husband must both be free from medical problems that cause infertility. In order to be ordained to the priesthood, a boy simply must turn 12. If childbearing is women’s equivalent to priesthood, where does that leave women who suffer from infertility, who cling to righteousness but can never become pregnant on their own? Where does it leave young girls who are too young to become pregnant, women who are unmarried, and post-menopausal women who can no longer become pregnant?
Pregnancy and childbirth can be a beautiful, transformative experience. However, this experience is not comparable to priesthood. Exercising the priesthood is a conscious effort; gestating a child is an unconscious biological process. One can choose to see the power of God in this process, but that also means that the power of God is behind preeclampsia, stillbirths, hyperemesis, congenital defects, gestational diabetes, and all the other complications that often accompany pregnancy. Actual priesthood ordinances are not life-threatening or unpredictable like pregnancy is, and you always know when you are participating in a priesthood ordinance, while pregnancy can be unknown even up to the point of birth.
Pregnancy is not priesthood. It is not a substitute for priesthood. It is, in fact entirely different, and should not be used as reasoning for women to not participate in the ordinances and leadership structure of our church.
Conclusion
Ordain Women is seeking ordination to the Aaronic and Melchizedek priesthoods in the Church, the same as men. These have very distinct definitions in the Bible dictionary and ordination to these priesthoods are distinct events with their own rituals and records kept. They are not inherently bestowed upon all members of the church simply for existing. Ordination to these priesthoods, and only these priesthoods, make members eligible to perform priesthood ordinances outside the temple and give members access to the leadership structure of the church. Please stop trying to feed us misdirections and substitutions. We know what we want, and no, what you are trying to feed us is not the priesthood we seek.
What is Doctrine?
For me the question of whether women will one day be ordained the priesthood is a question all members of the LDS Church should be asking. The question of whether it is “okay” to ask this question is not debatable as far as I am concerned. The Lord has counselled us to “ask” and “seek”, to “search” and “find.” In 1 Thessalonians chapter 5 the Lord, through Paul, gives us all great counsel: “Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which good.” It is not an evil thing or a betrayal to the prophets to “prove all things” through prayer, studying the scriptures, and petitioning the Spirit to guide us. It is actually a commandment to do so.
In my opinion the question of whether women will one day be ordained the priesthood begins with a study of Church doctrine. But what constitutes doctrine? This is very important. Despite what many of us were traditionally taught—I certainly was and in a conversation with my mother about this topic I discovered she was too—the talks given at General Conference by the Prophet, his councillors, and the Quorum of the Twelve (QT) are not scripture and cannot be appealed to when establishing doctrine. In fact, these fifteen men as well as their predecessors in the past have made this point crystal clear. I will keep my examples to a minimum and will attempt to cite only the most current studies as we are a “living” Church that is constantly changing and progressing, under the direction of Christ.
During the April 2012 General Conference, Elder D. Todd Christofferson, a member of the QT, gave a talk he titled, “The Doctrine of Christ.” In this address we learn the pattern involved in the revelatory process:
The President of the Church may announce or interpret doctrines based on revelation to him (see, for example, D&C 138). Doctrinal exposition may also come through the combined counsel of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (see, for example, Official Declaration 2). Counsel deliberations will often include a weighing of canonized scriptures, the teaching of Church leaders, and past practice. But in the end, just as in the New Testament Church, the objective is not simply consensus among council members but revelation from God. It is a process involving both reason and faith for obtaining the mind and will of the Lord.
That last sentence I find extremely revealing, “It is a process involving both reason and faith for obtaining the mind and will of the Lord.” According to one of the Christ’s “special witnesses”—a title meant to make believers think that these individuals have met and are in frequent face-to-face communication with the resurrected Jesus Christ—establishing doctrine is a “process” where both “reason and faith” are utilized in establishing “the mind and will of the Lord.” This troubles me greatly. Is Christ not the Head of the LDS Church and is he not in personal contact with the Prophet and prophets at least during every regularly scheduled correlation meeting, if not daily? That is what I was taught. However, that is not what the apostles are teaching here. Take for example the official LDS stance found on their public relations website Mormonnewsroom.org. Here we read in plain English:
What we learn here is that official LDS doctrines are contained only in the Four Standard Works as well as “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” and “The Living Christ.” That is it. Conference talks are not doctrine—don’t get me started on why we spend an inordinate amount of time during our three-hour block discussing them.
Perhaps one last example should solidify this. Turn in your Doctrine and Covenants, one of the Four Standard Works, to section 138. The heading reads:
Here we learn that not even the Prophet has the right to establish doctrine. He must first submit his revelation to the First Presidency, QT, and Patriarch where they pore over it using “reason and faith” and then take a vote.
Since the death of Joseph Smith the LDS Church has only received 7 new examples of “living scripture”: D&C 135; D&C 136; D&C 138; Official Declaration 1; Official Declaration 2; The Family: A Proclamation to the World; and The Living Christ. Only John Taylor (Section 135 and it is just his testimony of what occurred in Carthage that fateful day the Prophet and his brother were shot); Brigham Young (Section 136); Joseph F. Smith (Section 138); Wilford Woodruff (OD 1); Spencer W. Kimball (OD 2); and Gordon B. Hinckley (Family and Living Christ) have received new, modern revelation that elaborate on or teach us the doctrines of Christ. All the conference talks, all the policy changes to missionary ages, and all the delightful stories about good deeds are just talks, perhaps inspired, perhaps not (there are many examples of changes being made to the press released versions of the talks compared with the originals). They are helpful in that they assist us as weak individuals overcome our shortcomings but they are not examples of “modern revelation” or “living scripture”. As shown above, these are not my teachings, but those of the current leadership group of the LDS Church.
With this new light and knowledge now gained is it even necessary to discuss Elder Dallin H. Oaks’ May 5, 2014 talk? He did not state that his thoughts were inspired. He did not state that they were established by a consensus among the QT and First Presidency. In fact, if one looks at the references he uses throughout the talk he cites only four passages of doctrinal scripture. 1) Moses 6:7 “Now this same Priesthood, which was in the beginning, shall be in the end of the world also”; D&C 110:16 which states the Elijah gave Joseph and Oliver the “keys of this dispensation”; D&C 107:5 which reads “All other authorities or offices in the church are appendages to this priesthood [Melchizedek]”; and finally he quotes from “The Family: A proclamation to the World” stating that the father is the head of the household and that he and the mother may have different responsibilities but they are still “obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
By taking what Oaks stated from actual doctrinal sources we learn that the Priesthood given to Adam and Eve is eternal, that Joseph Smith, as a dispensation Prophet, received this Priesthood but with the added responsibility of performing Elijian tasks (i.e. rites for the dead), that the Melchizedek Priesthood is the main priesthood, and lastly that fathers and mothers are to have equal say in the house although the father gets to use his head while the mother only her body.
Currently, this is the position of the LDS Church in regards to the priesthood. Men have it; women do not need it. You need the priesthood to be a leader, including the callings dealing with money handling, except for the callings in Relief Society, Young Women’s, and Primary; however, all of these callings have a bishopric member assigned to oversee them. While this is the position of the LDS Church, it is clearly policy not doctrine.
Honoring our past.
Envisioning our future.
Krystal, the author of this post, is on Ordain Women’s Social Media Committee.
Blessing Katia
Nearly seven months ago, our darling daughter was born. Her birth was monumental for us; after miscarrying six babies in three years, we were elated to carry this baby girl full term. She was born at home at 43 1/2 weeks into the loving arms of her father and my midwife. The birth itself was uneventful. Six hours of silent labor and three strong pushes brought this little eight-pound, 21-inch-long bundle into our earthly existence. With emotions high and hormones flowing I struggled for three weeks to nurse her effectively. I was determined to nurse. My doula came over to help with her latch, my midwife came to check and see how she was doing, her assistant from Kenya comforted me as I held back sobs of excruciating nipple pain when Katia would latch on for her feeding, we had a lactation consultant come and do weighed feedings. It was such an ordeal. Katia would need to be undressed down to her naked newborn body, and placed in a sling/scale. We would record her weight. Then I would proceed to feed her until she was content- which was next to never. She would scream and scream and scream. I knew she was still hungry. Then we would weigh her again and record that data, checking to see how many ounces she was taking in while breastfeeding. Not many, it turns out. But it wasn’t a production issue. It was a suction and latch issue. After five people had checked her, we finally felt we had an answer- she had an upper lip tie and a submucosal tongue tie that virtually sealed the majority of her tongue to the floor of her mouth. We made the trek to Albany, New York from Michigan to have a specialist correct her ties with a laser rather than have to endure putting her under general anesthesia at this tiny age and risk her not coming out of is. There was no way I was going to lose this baby after the others. Recovery from this relatively simple procedure was tough; there were stretches and therapy and pain management along with her relearning how to nurse effectively. It was arduous, but we made it through relatively unscathed. This was not the first time I felt prompted to give her a blessing. But I didn’t. Instead, we moved forward with our plan to help her recover from that whirlwind trip.
Prior to us heading on our last-minute trip to Albany, our bishop thoughtfully suggested my husband give her her name and a blessing just in case something went wrong with the procedure. We went home that night and within the private and scared walls of our bedroom she was blessed and named for the records of the Church. With little fanfare our small family of four stood around her hoping for some turn around. It wasn’t that the blessing given was bad. It was comforting and encouraging, but I still felt an emptiness. Let me be very clear, this has nothing to do with my husband or the Priesthood he holds. It simply felt like a timing issue. And would later prove to be that and much more.
By this point, I had felt multiple times like I needed to give her a blessing, beginning with the day she was born. But I was nervous. What if I did it wrong? What if I angered the Lord? What if it would harm my standing in the Church? What if it wasn’t right? I was unbelievably scared. So scared, that I felt frozen and couldn’t do anything to move forward and actually lay my hands on her head and give her a blessing.
We continued to go into her health care provider’s office for weight checks, sometimes as many as three times a week. I was still nursing, but she was also receiving some supplemental formula we made from nourishing ingredients that she tolerated well. But her symptoms hadn’t gone away. She would spit up almost all the time, scream until she was placed back to the breast to help ease her acid reflux, her stools were frothy and foamy or slimy and mucus filled. Our nights were sleepless; most nights I would get 1-2 hours of sleep because she was still nursing so frequently. Additional bottles of formula weren’t helping. She wasn’t gaining weight and had dropped at or below the third percentile. I could see the writing on the wall; my baby was not thriving. We went in once again to her health care provider and were told that she needed to see a pediatric specialist. Once there, they ran a multitude of tests and diagnosed her officially as “failure to thrive.” They thought maybe she had cystic fibrosis, or possibly an endocrine issue, but those test results came back as normal. They did blood draws that were so upsetting to her that my husband passed out while sitting in a chair trying to recover from holding her down while they filled vial after vial with the contents that would determine what was wrong with our child- sending them off to the in-house lab and the Mayo Clinic. Still, quietly the Spirit told me to take her in my arms and bless her. And yet, I didn’t.
Later we were given more results: She was unofficially diagnosed as having celiac disease. She had the markers present in her bloodstream, but it couldn’t be officially diagnosed as celiac disease until she had ingested wheat herself for at least 6 months and then an intestinal biopsy was done in four different places. But they told us that this is what was, and this is all it could be based on what they were seeing. I collapsed into a pile of tears on our couch and relief flooded my body when we got the news. I could handle this.
Because I was nursing, I stopped eating any and all gluten-containing foods. Our house became a celiac-friendly home, and I was meticulous about not cross-contaminating when we were out at other places. We decided that it was best, given what she had been through, to not give her grains for the first year. This meant we would also not be doing the biopsy at age one. We felt it was right and our health care providers agreed. We just needed to let her grow, they said. We couldn’t risk directly giving her gluten containing foods right now. Still, I felt she needed a blessing from her mother. But I remained silent.
Things looked up, but they didn’t really turn around. I was so careful, but it wasn’t enough. She was still struggling. Still not gaining enough weight. Still up most nights. Our little miracle baby was struggling. And we felt like we had exhausted all of our options. The weight checks, while necessary, were dreaded. Questions would consume me: Did she gain this week? Is her brain developing? Is her gut flora able to grow in this environment? What more can we do? Do we need to do more allergy testing? We have done everything we could, haven’t we?
No. I hadn’t. I wrested with a final prompting to give her a blessing for three more days before I approached my husband about it. He was supportive and encouraged me to follow my intuition. And finally, I felt peace when I made the decision to move forward with it.
It was done simply and quietly. First, I consecrated some olive oil. I felt embarrassed that I was doing it wrong, as my husband who has done it multiple times stood by watching and holding our baby in one arm and the hand of our six year old with his other hand. Another woman I am close to, came over a few minutes later to stand in and assist in the blessing. She was a silent supporter, but a tremendous strength nonetheless. We set a white stool in the middle of our living room where my husband would sit holding our daughter. We anointed her head with the consecrated oil and sealed the anointing. Then, I pronounced a blessing on her as directed by the Holy Ghost after invoking the name of Jesus Christ and His authority. There were words of comfort, promises of wholeness and healing, encouragement from our Heavenly Mother and Father, and a peace settled in which surpasses all understanding as the words flowed from my lips into my daughter’s ears. Upon closing, our eyes were filled with tears as we embraced one another and breathed in the sacredness of what had just transpired. I was sure that our daughter was made whole. I knew it to the very core my being, just as one knows the familiar sound of their own name. It was right. It was so very right. I couldn’t believe I had waited this long to listen to what I had been feeling.
A couple of days went by and her diaper contents began to change. Her fitful crying soon began to stop. We were getting more sleep- not perfect yet, but significantly better. Her color came back into her cheeks. She was cheerful and smiling. When we went in for a weight check three days after her blessing, the scale said she had gained a pound in less than a week. An entire pound. She had been barely gaining two ounces a week. We celebrated that night at dinner as a family, hoping it wasn’t a fluke. Turns out it wasn’t. The trend has continued. She is continuing to grow steadily. At this point, we felt it was time to reintroduce gluten containing grains back into my diet. She still breastfeeds, so this was going to be quite the experiment for us. It was remarkably anticlimactic. Nothing. No issues. No problems. No fits. Nothing. I dropped to my knees in gratitude to my Heavenly family. Not because I could have wheat bread again, but because she was still growing and thriving even when I was eating it.
Just this week we went back for her well child check up. The news that was delivered brought tears to my eyes. We are done having to come in for weekly weigh ins. She is in the twentieth percentile for her weight now. That is a huge change in a few months. She is no longer labeled as failure to thrive. She is thriving. And, her celiac disease markers are completely gone. It is as if they were never there. As controversial as this may seem, it is miraculous to me, my husband, and our family. People have asked, “how can this be?” I used to answer, “she received a blessing, and healing was correct for her life journey.” Everyone would assume the blessing was from my husband. But I knew. Katia knew. The Lord knew. Without any pride, I knew that it was my own hands that had delivered that blessing, that it was through the words I had spoken that she was blessed.
I’m no longer hiding our miracle. Christ taught in John 14:12, that if we believe in Him, we shall do greater miracles than those He preformed. I believe that and hold to that promise. Following Him is my truest and deepest desire. The next time I feel impressed to offer a blessing, or if I am called upon to do so, I will not hesitate to follow Christ.
Honoring our past,
Envisioning our future.
Rachel Wachs, the author of this post, is on the Social Media Committee of Ordain Women.
Sunday Spotlight – Jen
Today’s Sunday Spotlight features Jen. A very brave woman who opens up about her own heart wrenching story that ends with a beautiful message of hope and love. Thank you for sharing Jen!
Hi, I’m Jen. I love hiking and fishing and horses and camping, but I found those loves after I left the church. I was raised as a very active Mormon. I was married in the temple at nineteen, and for several years after I was endowed, I made sure to go to the temple at least once a week. At one time, I had five callings, because I believed saying no to a calling was like saying no to Heavenly Father.
My favorite calling was being the choir accompanist. I love music, and I am very grateful that the church’s need for piano players pushed me to learn to play. When I was twelve, my YW leader asked if anyone could play. At the time, I couldn’t, but I taught myself to play. By the time I was sixteen, I could accompany the hymns in YW and played prelude for sacrament meeting. At sixteen, I wanted to play for the Mount Timpanogos Temple open house, so I taught myself to play the organ.
I was married in the temple the first time at nineteen. My marriage experience included being raped and beaten. I was called names, cheated on, spat upon, thrown into walls, had my possessions destroyed, my family members threatened, was told I could never see my family, and had my life threatened.
I went to several church leaders for help at various times. One told me that my responsibility was to be in the home keeping my husband happy. One told me it was a worse sin to deny my husband sex than for him to force himself on me. I was told I had committed to obey my husband, and as soon as I repented and did that, my life would be better. Several told me that a man can’t rape his wife. I was given a book on communication after I told one bishop that I was afraid for my life.
Five years ago, I finally left the church because the teachings and the environment were killing me.
Emotionally I felt like I HAD to tell my story. I knew there were so many women that were (and are) so happy with the current structure of the church, but I also believed there were other women like me. Women who had been raised with the patriarchy and suffered in silence. I wanted to make a difference. I thought maybe I could help someone else to avoid the pain I had suffered.
It also felt like a “coming out” moment. I finally owned my story. Although others had called what my husband did “rape” and “abuse”, I had been too afraid to use those words. Going to bishops for help and being shot down had left me so scarred and afraid, I had a hard time talking to anyone about what had happened. Not only did I write down my story, it was then shared for everyone to read.
I haven’t been to church for a long time, so its hard for me to remember the specific ways I saw gender inequality play out at church. I just remember constantly feeling like I was “less than” because I was a female. The individual events have faded from my memory, but I am still working to heal the emotional scars those events left.
I have a lot of hope for the future. My life now is a million times better than I ever could have imagined. Last week, I bought a house with a man I love and who treats me like I am important. We are partners in life, and I didn’t know that was even possible. I got to sign my own name on the mortgage papers. Not his name, but mine. That was really cool for me.
Worldwide, it seems to me things are getting better. We are talking about sexism and gender inequality and racism and bringing awareness to causes in ways that we could never do before. We are (as a human race) learning how to be better humans. I am amazed at how much growth people have gone through, and continue to go through.
The day I posted my profile, I received phone calls from each of my siblings. They don’t believe women should be ordained, but they called me to tell me they were proud of me.
My family has shown me what love is all about. We don’t agree, and we love each other. We are all different, and we support each other in the things that make each of us happy. They may not support women’s ordination, but they support me in supporting women’s ordination. That means a lot.
Family isn’t about religious beliefs, family is about love.
I had several friends thank me for sharing my profile. I discovered many friends who were silently supporting ordain women, but I had no idea. I had other friends tell me they hadn’t really thought about situations like mine, but having trained leaders AND female leaders would help women in abusive relationships tremendously.
