“I do more than just dream.”
I am the eldest of five girls, and even as a young child, I was aware—each time a new sister was born—of people wondering if my parents would keep trying until they “got it right” (i.e., had a boy). And while a boy did eventually arrive (and let the record show, he is the most amazing li’l brother in the history of li’l brothers), my parents, and especially my father, were quick, not just to correct the questioner—they liked their daughters just fine, thank you very much—but to show us how important we were.
As the daughter of a mother who fears feminism, this was, ironically, my introduction to feminism. However, it was the words of my father that stuck with me as I grew and now have a daughter of my own. I don’t remember my age at the time, but I distinctly remember him telling me that just because we were girls didn’t mean he couldn’t do the things with us that he would have done with a son. So we went camping, fishing, hiking. We played, and he coached, t-ball and soft ball. My next youngest sister and I played indoor soccer at our local YMCA. In fact, sports are still a big part of my youngest siblings’ lives. I loved that my parents didn’t raise us with the assumption that we were “just girls.”
It is from this beginning that I envision the future for my daughter. On my side, she is the only grandchild (and, as such, is properly spoiled). But on my husband’s side she is one of 26 grandchildren, 16 of which are female—a fairly recent trend in a family formerly dominated by males. Her daddy’s side is pretty much the polar opposite of mine: There is a heavy expectation of patriarchy and “traditional” gender roles. It’s been a bumpy ride, to say the least, but it has also been an educational experience.
Before I met, and then married, my husband, my parent’s attitude toward patriarchy and expected female roles was all I’d known. And even though they weren’t entirely egalitarian, they were still progressive for a Mormon family. My marriage was a major eye opener, not just regarding our familial upbringings, but the expectations placed upon us by our religious and secular societies. And these lessons became all the more important when our daughter was born. It was not enough that my husband and I were continually refining an egalitarian marriage and home, because she would soon experience the pressures of her broader secular and religious communities. How can I help shape her experiences outside the safety of our home? She is still young, but that won’t last much longer. So, I dream:
I dream of a future where she is respected for who she is and what she can do.
I dream of a future where she is not defined by her ability (or not) to bear children.
I dream of a future where she is compensated equally for her work.
I dream of a future where her religious and secular worlds are egalitarian.
I dream of a future where her choices as a woman are respected.
I dream of a future where she is the absolute authority on what happens to her body.
I dream of a future where her reproductive rights are not placed in the hands of corporations, political groups, or men.
I dream of a world where her ability to serve her God is not limited by her gender.
I dream of a future where her worth is not tied to a man.
I dream of a future where men are not intimidated by a strong and powerful woman. (And I certainly hope she is such a woman!)
I dream of these things, and so, so much more. But I do more than just dream. I work. I act. I create the future I envision for my daughter. And though there is so much to be done, more than I may be able to do in my lifetime, I know that I am raising a daughter who will continue the work. Maybe her daughter will live in that future I dream of.
Honoring our past, envisioning our future
Ordain Women
M’lisa Martínez Glyndŵr, the author of this post, has a profile on Ordain Women.
“As your father and mother place their hands on your head.”
When I was 10 years old, I went with my father to inspect an old house he was considering renting to use as an LDS Church meetinghouse. It had been unoccupied, and I remember stepping through an untold number of dead cockroaches as we walked through every room and my dad inspected the structural details. My dad wasn’t a carpenter or a builder or even a handyman. He was a university professor and a polio survivor who had limited physical ability, but he was going to be the branch president, so this was his responsibility. I’m not sure why he took me, but as his oldest child, I was excited to help, since it would mean church in our own town instead of an hour-drive each way to Sunday meetings. And I was sure that he valued my opinion about the house.
We rented that house and used it for church services for 7 years before church leaders decided to build us a real church building. It started as a very small branch, and I remember more than one Sunday when my parents, siblings, and I were the only congregants. On those Sundays, I distinctly remember watching my father conduct the meeting, say the opening and closing prayers, bless and pass the sacrament, and even play the piano—which is probably one reason I was so eager to help when he handed me the hymnal and asked me, then a mere 11 years old, to teach myself how to direct music and called me as a sacrament meeting chorister. Later I was the pianist. In that environment of such need, I didn’t really notice all that I could not do; there were so many opportunities for a young woman to serve that are not normally open to youth.
I am now raising my son and daughters in a ward where there are adults to take on most callings. The contrast between how much my son contributes to Sunday meetings and what my daughters contribute is stark. I want them to experience the same commitment to serving in the Church that I felt from personal ownership in the process. During the times when I was still building my testimony, my commitment to attending church, because I was needed there, kept me from ever sitting at home on Sunday. I wish the same for my daughters.
When the LDS Church was young, I imagine everyone felt this same urgent need for all hands on deck. The creation of the Relief Society organization came from just such a desire, and Joseph Smith welcomed the participation of the women. He accepted their ideas and taught them that there was even more they could contribute—more than they then envisioned. Early records of Relief Society meetings tell of blessing and preaching and speaking in tongues. I’d bet that none of those early Relief Society organizers envisioned these activities when they first decided to meet as a group and sew shirts.
I have an ancestor who was a member of the Church in those early days. His journal records that he kept the books for the Kirtland Temple and directed the music at its dedication. He breakfasted with Oliver Cowdrey and Joseph Smith when they discussed revelations they had received, and Brigham Young came to his home to sing with him. One day I was reading through his journal, and I noticed, recorded at the end, several father’s blessings he gave to his children. In the headings of many of them, it read “as your father and mother place their hands on your head.” Oh, how much joy those words gave me! It warmed my heart to read in one simple but powerful phrase that he considered his wife an important partner and that she stood with him to bless their children.
The LDS Church needs everyone. We have a lot of members now, even in that little branch where I grew up, but compared to the work that is to be done, we are still very small in number. I want to instill in my daughters that same spirit of commitment to the Church that comes from being really needed. That, for me, has come to mean participation in the priesthood. It is beyond me why, as a church organization that needs everyone, we would tell over half of our members that we simply do not need their full contribution.
Honoring our past, envisioning our future
Ordain Women
Lori LaVar Pierce, the author of this post, has a profile on Ordain Women.
Honoring our past, Envisioning our future
Ordain Women has chosen as our 2015 theme: “Honoring Our Past, Envisioning Our Future.” This theme was inspired, in part, by the wonderful resource material in Ordain Women Conversation 2, “Know the History.”
Leading off the “Know the History” conversation is a quote by Patty Bartlett Sessions. Patty was a pioneering midwife and one of the wives of Joseph Smith. In 1884, Patty said, “I felt as though I must lay hands on her. I never felt so before without being called on to do it. She said, ‘Well, do it.’ I knew I had been ordained to lay hands on the sick and set apart to do that. She had been washed clean and I anointed her, gave her some oil to take, and then laid hands on her. I told her she would get well if she would believe and not doubt it.” Patty spoke with confidence and acted with authority.
There are a multitude of brave pioneer women like Patty in our collective past who blazed trails, both literal and figurative. Many early Mormon women were prominent leaders and innovators. In 1896, Martha Maria Hughes Cannon, a physician and prominent Mormon suffragist, beat her own husband on the same ballot in Utah to become the first-ever female state senator in the United States of America. Emmeline B. Wells was President of the Relief Society from 1910 to 1921 and editor of the early feminist publication the Woman’s Exponent. Jane Elizabeth Manning James was the first African-American woman to enter Utah as a pioneer, and she repeatedly petitioned the First Presidency of the Church for more equal treatment and the sealing she was promised by Emma Smith. The early Church was a place for bold, talented, faith-driven women.
In the “Utah Woman Suffrage Songbook” from 1871, there is a song called, “Woman, Arise,” which is sung to the tune of the LDS hymn “Hope of Israel.” The first verse and chorus are inspiring:
Freedom’s daughter, rouse from slumber;
See, the curtains are withdrawn
Which so long they mind hath shrouded;
Lo! Thy day begins to dawn.
Woman, ‘rise, thy penance o’er,
Sit thou in the dust no more;
Seize the scepter, hold the van,
Equal with thy brother, man.
Imagine a group of hundreds of Mormon women in bonnets and petticoats singing those inspiring words. What a joyous chorus that would be!
We marked many milestones for Mormon women in 2014. In March, the Church held the first Springtime General Women’s Meeting for women and young girls, thus creating a meeting for women twice per year. On September 27, Sister Dorah Mkhabela, from South Africa, was the first Black woman ever to pray in an LDS General Conference. In October, for the first time, the Church made the Women’s Meeting an official part of General Conference.
Other faith traditions also made great strides towards equality this past year. In October, Seventh-day Adventists agreed to vote on women’s ordination in 2015. In November, the Church of England, which has 27 million baptized members, overwhelmingly voted to allow women bishops. This decision reversed centuries of tradition that excluded women from this office.
Our past as well as these steps toward greater inclusion and equality should be celebrated. However, at Ordain Women, we feel confident that the “golden age” for women in the LDS Church does not lie in the past, but in the future. We think that, as women, we control the destiny of women in the Church. We can be inspired by the past to envision a future where our daughters are equals with our sons.
In 2015, Ordain Women will focus on more fully understanding our history and the women upon whose broad and brave shoulders we stand today. We will use the lessons from those who came before us to help us imagine a brighter, more inclusive future for ourselves and for the Church. We will be learning to follow the example of pioneer midwife Patty Sessions, becoming midwives to our own liberation.
Ordain Women Board Welcomes New Members
The Ordain Women executive board is pleased to announce five new board members: Joanna Wallace, Bryndis Roberts, Mark Barnes, Gina Colvin, and Danielle Mooney. Each brings unique contributions to our leadership team; they are all brave, hardworking and brilliant people; and it is our pleasure to officially introduce them to our supporters. Please read their profiles (linked below). They all have fascinating stories and messages to share.
Joanna Wallace co-chairs the Social Media Committee with April Young Bennett. She hails from Georgia, is an avid quilter, blogger, and home-schools all four of her beautiful children.
Bryndis Roberts co-chairs the Community Support Committee with Kristy Money. She is also from Georgia and is a lawyer.
Mark Barnes chairs the Male Allies Committee. He is a lawyer and lives in Salt Lake City.
Gina Colvin chairs the International Committee. She is an education professor who lives and works in New Zealand. She also blogs as Kiwi Mormon at Patheos.
Danielle Mooney co-chairs the Action Committee with Kate Kelly. She lives in Boston and recently welcomed her first baby daughter.
To read an overview of OW’s executive organizational structure, please see our Contact page.
Ordain Women Billboard
As we move into the holiday season, we at Ordain Women wish to share a message of faith and good will. As part of this effort, we are happy to announce that we secured a billboard in Salt Lake City. It reads: “Faith precedes the miracle. Merry Christmas from Ordain Women.” It is our sincere desire that the billboard, located at 1655 N. Beck Street, will inspire all who see it.
We chose to create a billboard in order to spread the spirit of the Christmas season and the message of hope that came with the arrival of our Savior Jesus Christ. We find inspiration and comfort in the scriptural accounts of those who anxiously and faithfully awaited Jesus’s birth, and we rejoice in His earthly ministry. We believe that faith, indeed, precedes miracles.
We are incredibly grateful to all of those who helped make this effort possible. The campaign to fund the billboard received more than $3,000 in a less than a day. To date, over 150 donors have contributed funds now totaling $6,000. As each donation came in—regardless of the amount—our hearts and spirits were buoyed. We thank all of you for your generosity and support, and we pray that the miracles of this season will be yours.
‘Tis better to be guilty and penitent than innocent?
Author’s Note: I wrote this post before Kate Kelly received a recent letter from her former Stake President, Scott M. Wheatley, outlining why he has chosen to deny her appeal of her excommunication. I believe Wheatley’s letter confirms the concerns I raised in the post. -April Young Bennett
April Young Bennett is a member of the Ordain Women board. She has a profile at Ordain Women.
I was driving about 60 miles per hour on a desert highway. It was dark and I didn’t notice when I passed through a rural town with a much lower speed limit. A police officer pulled me over and I apologized profusely. Speeding is dangerous! I should drive slowly through towns so I don’t hit people! He let me go without giving me a ticket, although I was clearly guilty of speeding.
On another occasion, I was riding my bike and stopped at an intersection at about the same time as a driver in a van. The driver waved me through and I continued across the street, only to be stopped by a police officer who accused me of running the stop sign. I hadn’t seen the officer when I stopped because he was on the other side of the van. I don’t think the officer could see me either, for the same reason. I defended my innocence and received a ticket.
Reflecting on these experiences, I wonder if a guilty but penitent person is less likely to be punished than a person who is innocent and therefore unrepentant. If it is human nature to trust your own judgement over the testimony of someone else, would an enforcer feel more kindly toward someone who confirms their perceptions over someone who challenges them?
In the end, I did not have to pay that ticket. An impartial traffic court judge ruled in my favor. In contrast, in LDS church disciplinary proceedings, the accuser is also the judge. Janice Allred, who was excommunicated by her bishop in 1995, related this conversation:
At my disciplinary council, I presented a long statement defending myself against the charge of apostasy, which I gave to the press and people attending the vigil. Later, a man in my ward, a lawyer who had participated in many disciplinary council proceedings, said to me, “Janice, you misunderstand the purpose of the church court. It is not about establishing guilt or innocence. They won’t hold a court unless they have already decided you’re guilty. The purpose of the court is to get you to repent, to understand the seriousness of what you’ve done, to understand the consequences of refusing to repent.” (Sunstone 2014 Salt Lake Symposium, Session 336)
If Allred’s friend is correct, wouldn’t a guilty, penitent person fare better than someone who doesn’t repent because they haven’t sinned?
Faithfully Yours.
Yesterday our sister, Kate Kelly, received a Supplemental Letter from her former Stake President, Scott Wheatley, detailing the reasoning behind denying the appeal of her excommunication. Ordain Women is sharing that letter here for two reasons: first, we want to show what the disciplinary process looks like for Kate and other women in the Church who have no access to authority; and second, we want to be clear that we wholeheartedly disagree with the characterization of Ordain Women that is being used.
Though President Wheatley claims “the process was fair” we could not disagree more. Once again, we must point out that Kate was tried and judged by her accuser and two other men (one of whom is not her sustained leader and had never even met her). He also assured Kate that the process has been “consistent with Church policy.” As only nine women in the Church are allowed to read the handbook that details this process—while more than 100,000 men, including Kate’s accusers have access to the handbook—Kate and millions of other women in the Church must simply take his word for that.
Questions of process and fairness must be left, largely, in the hands of the men who have been given authority, but the accusation of apostasy is not hidden from the women of the Church. The LDS Church defines apostasy as to “turn away from the principles of the gospel.” Kate’s actions as part of Ordain Women are an effort to participate more fully in the Church and partake more fully in the gospel. She has repeatedly expressed a desire to stay in, and operate as a full member of, the Church. She has asked her questions publicly, but always faithfully.
This is a painful experience that impacts Kate in the most personal way and she has been open and honest with her experience. We support that decision and stand with her as she shares each step of this process. Though she was not notified of when her appeal would be considered, thus denying us the chance to plan a fast to our Heavenly Parents on her behalf at the time of the council, we will continue to pray that the First Presidency will restore our sister to the body of the Church.
Debra Jenson, Chair, Ordain Women
Excommunication Appeal Denied
Today I received this pro forma letter via email from Scott Wheatley, my former Stake President in the Oakton, Virginia Stake, informing me that my appeal at the stake level was denied.
This email was the first notification I received with any information regarding my appeal, despite repeated inquiries over a period of several months. I was not informed when the council would convene, nor given any details about the procedure at all. Thus, I was not adequately prepared or even given the opportunity specifically to fast and pray that the hearts of those on the council would be softened and for a positive result in my case.
The following men participated in the council to consider my appeal. I met the stake president in person twice before I moved, once with Bishop Mark Harrison and once with his counselor Ken Lee. I do not know any of the rest personally.
Stake Presidency:
- Scott Wheatley
- Ken Lee
- Richard Hatch
High Council:
- Mike Baird
- Mario Perez
- Jon Borrowman
- Greg Daines
- Troy Dow
- David Glenn
- Brad Keck
- Mike Neville
- John Voelkel
- Michael Snarr
- Scott Vanatter
- Joel White
President Wheatley was my initial accuser and initiated the excommunication process against me. Therefore the notice that my appeal to him was unsuccessful does not come as a shock. However, I will admit, it is tremendously disappointing to see it on paper.
As indicated in the notice of an unsuccessful appeal, it is now my right to appeal straight to the First Presidency of the Church, comprised of the Prophet Thomas S. Monson and his two counselors Henry B. Eyring and Dieter F. Uchtdorf.
I maintain to this day that I am not guilty of apostasy. I intend to pursue an appeal to the First Presidency of the Church and hope that they will be able to rectify this egregious error. I have love for the gospel and its people. I have encouraged others to stay inside the Church, if they are able. As provided for in the Church’s own appeals process, it is not too late for my leaders to declare my innocence and restore me to full fellowship.
I implore the First Presidency to find that I was erroneously excommunicated, dismiss with prejudice the case against me, and reinstate my church membership. I hope and pray they will have the wisdom and courage to do so, if not for my sake, for the sake of the thousands of women this disciplinary process has deeply hurt.
Polygamy and Ordination
Kristy from OW’s Executive Board shares her thoughts and feelings on the new plural marriage essay:
I am pleased by the Church’s efforts toward greater transparency in the lds.org series of essays on difficult topics. The Church’s new essay on Kirtland and Nauvoo polygamy is welcome progress for women like me who have struggled with the issue of plural marriage and have been praying for more light and knowledge on women’s issues from our leaders.
When I married the love of my life in the Salt Lake Temple, I started to worry a lot about polygamy. I put myself in Emma’s shoes and wept when I imagined how I’d feel if my husband were marrying other women without my knowledge. I found myself seeing current policies I knew about but hadn’t thought of much: that a living man can be sealed for eternity to more than one woman, living (if civilly divorced) or dead (if she passed away before he did). However, a woman can only be sealed to one man. I clung to my husband in bed at night and prayed we’d die of old age together, so I wouldn’t have to share him with other women in eternity. Explanations from well-meaning family and friends that I’d be a better sharer in heaven because I’d be perfected only made me feel worse.
So today, reading the new essay on polygamy strengthened my faith in continual greater transparency from the Church on issues that affect women directly, and hopefully more conversations about them in church policies, past and present.
You can read the essay for yourself here, so I won’t summarize, but I will say it was interesting to read the essay’s speculation that perhaps other men’s wives wanted to marry Joseph because people died earlier in that time period, and so being sealed to someone with the priesthood was something they wanted to receive before they passed away. To me, this confirmed my desire for women’s ordination, because I have even heard similar thoughts from single women and women with non-member or inactive husbands today: that is, they worry about the effects of not being married to a priesthood holder. If women were ordained, they could use priesthood authority at home and eternity, whether single, divorced, or widowed.
The essay ends by confirming that men today are indeed sealed to more than one woman (through divorce or death) in line with Joseph’s teachings. I appreciate that the authors have faith that God will sort out these issues in the eternities. I have faith in our Heavenly Parents’ love and ability to make everything right in the next life as well. At the same time, since this life is the time to prepare to meet God (Alma 34:32), I yearn to know more about why living men can be sealed to more than one woman, but not vice versa. I yearn to know more about my Heavenly Parents’ relationship and how I can pattern my own marriage after Their example. I feel a deeper theology about women is much needed and I pray we will be ready to receive it when God, through the President of the Church or Quorum of the Twelve, reveals it.
Understanding the October 2014 Priesthood Session Action Participants
To try and understand more about those who participated in the October priesthood session action, I surveyed participants online and received 76 responses. Survey participation is voluntary, so it is unclear how many women and male allies attended the priesthood session.
Generally speaking, who participated in the Ordain Women October Priesthood Session Action?
- Members of the LDS Church, who make up 95% of respondents
- People who attend church regularly, with 73% of respondents attending church regularly–just 8% report that they do not attend church
- Mostly young people, with 67% being age 40 or under
- Mostly women, but 15% are men
- Predominantly US residents, with 91% of respondents currently living in the US
Have participants experienced any difficulty with Church leaders as a result of supporting Ordain Women?
70% of respondents answered “No”
How did respondents participate in the event?
- 55% attended/attempted to attend the priesthood session at a ward or stake building
- 38% watched the session from home
What made respondents want to participate in this event?
The following are selected responses:
“I see myself as a prospective priesthood holder. I want to prepare for that responsibility and I want to show my local leaders and fellow Church members that I am sincere and ready to do the work.”
“I wanted to join with my fellow saints at the priesthood session and take the conversation to the community in which I live.”
“Well, I was taught in church growing up to have the courage to stand up for what you know is right, even if you stand alone.”
How did the participants feel about their participation?
71% of respondents rated their experience as “Positive” or “Very Positive”