In celebration of Ordain Women’s fifth anniversary, we sponsored a panel at the 2018 Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City titled “Looking Back, Looking Forward: The Many Voices of Ordain Women.” As we look to the future and a new organizational structure that emphasizes both individual and collective, local and global activism on women’s ordination and gender equality in the Church, the panel not only drew on the past to inform a discussion of our initiatives going forward but also featured the thoughts and experiences of a number of OW executive board members and supporters who share the common vision of a more equitable religious community. The following was presented by OW executive board member, Leah Marie Silverman.
I remember the first time it really hit me that men and boys in the church had access to something I did not. I was about 12 or 13 years old, and I was in my Young Women’s class. The lesson was about the priesthood, and the teacher was talking about the great responsibility that the apostles have—that they are special witnesses of the Lord. She hypothesized about whether the apostles meet the Savior in this life as a part of their special witness. And I thought, “That would be so amazing. It would be so incredible to see and talk with the Savior and then spend your life testifying of Him.” And then, in the next heartbeat, I realized that could never be me. I would never be called to that. Not because I am not worthy or because I lack testimony. Simply because I was born a girl. I was crushed.
Over the years I attempted to console myself by remembering the joy and responsibility of motherhood. I knew this was supposed to be the right answer. But however I tried, this consolation felt empty because I’ve always known the comparison isn’t apt. Motherhood’s true parallel is fatherhood. After I became a mother, I saw this made manifest in my husband, who is a wonderful, nurturing, compassionate father. I can’t pretend anymore that I am content with the status quo because I am a mother. To be clear, this is not a complaint about my role as a mother. But my husband is both a father and a priesthood holder, and this magnifies his role as a husband, father, and servant of Christ. I just want the same. Having access to the power of God on earth would magnify my role as wife, mother, and servant of Christ.
You can listen to the Sunstone presentation:
Stream here or download. For access to more of Sunstone’s 2018 Symposium, visit their website.